So, it one Sunday, there was a pro-life ‘rally’ where a whole bunch of people I knew were going to stand on the street and hold signs that said ‘Abortion is Murder’ and signs with horrible pictures on them.  So, when I was asked if I was going to go, every fiber of my being said no, but the ego that wanted acceptance with this group, that said yes.  So there I was, holding this sign on a street corner hoping nobody would recognize me.  It was a horrible moment.

It’s been a long time since that time, but I still think about that moment some times.  I think about the fact that there may have been a woman or a teenage girl who was already in the midst of making the hardest decision they may ever make… and here I was judging them with a horrible sign on the side of the street.  I hope they looked at me and my friends and knew how foolish we were… I hope they weren’t more burdened because of our foolishness.  I hope they did whatever was best for them in spite of our stupidity.

Yep… I help one of those signs… and am not proud of it.

In most of the comments, I see people saying that only the religious right and bible thumpers are offended.  Well, this is just. not. true.  Many people I know, who are not at all religious and are quite liberal in their thinking, think this was an offensive marketing campaign.  This is not a religious issue, it is a social issue.  It is an issue that proves that some people still don’t seem to see any issue with using women in a negative way for marketing.  Women who were not in on the joke, I might add.

Yep… it is one big fail.  To those who think this is overreactting, I ask you to think about how you would feel if a woman you know and really care about was sexually assaulted.  Then think about that same woman, at her job, minding her own business, who is then accosted by a whole bunch of males who have been told to go commit ‘lustful acts’ against them (which can have very different meanings to different people… and most don’t read the fine print that EA likes to point to).  Just think about how that may feel, and then tell me what you think.

The message the entire campaign sends is enough to piss me off.  The fact that they actually took it to the level they did, and asked people to tweet about it… well, that’s some pretty piss poor planning.  To think that there was a room full of marketing executives who thought this was a good idea.  It got at least enough approval to be green-lit.

Wonder if even one person stepped forward and told them to rethink it.

So, I found my old NIV Bible (that cost around $100, by the way… ), and in it, I found some old pieces of paper that I had written various notes on.  One is a note that we were told to write in a Bible Study.  It was a ‘Commitment note’ that you were to write to your future spouse.  Well… this note is pretty funny, because I remember writing it and reading it aloud… and I remember adding a side note after I read it, that was for me.  Here it is in its entirety:

As a commitment to my future husband, I will always be there for you… to talk to, cry with, and I will always listen to what you have to say.  I will follow where you lead me and will always stay strong in my walk with God so that we may both grow in God and have God as the center of our marriage.  I promise to do what God leads us to do even if it is not exactly what I planned.  If we have children, I promise to let you be the leader of our family and will help in raising those children along with you in a Christian home filled with love and compassion.  I will work to make our family feel comfortable talking to one another.

This was what I read to the group… god I remember this like it was yesterday… and it was at least 14 years ago.  I was in college, and had started some questionning, but was still working so hard to fit in and make it happen.  So I read this letter, that I didn’t really believe, especially the part that is basically me saying I’d submit to my husband.

After I read the above, I wrote this side note to myself:

I will also have my own opinions because I feel that every person should have their own mind.

It makes me laugh now.  But that time of my life was excruciatingly painful.  I wanted so badly to really believe Christianity.  I wanted to be in that group… be a strong believer… be loved by Jesus/God.  So I wrote and said things that were expected, that got good responses.  But ultimately, I couldn’t keep this up, and I finally let go.  The more I opened my mind, studied, and even tried to believe, the more I realized I didn’t believe, and that I wasn’t going to change my mind about this.

When I find old notes like this, it’s always so strange… because I know I wrote it, but I don’t know that person anymore.  I can’t believe I ever felt that way, and even faked feeling that way.  I had to grieve the loss of this person and the faith that this person had… and I did.

As I find more of my old notes and writings, I’ll share them here.  I think I destroyed most of the evidence, but there are still a few pieces out there.

Any old notes/writings you’ve found from your past?

Am I glad that I never let that viewpoint hold me back.  Even deep in my Christian faith, I didn’t think this could possibly be correct.  Perhaps this was the beginning of my questioning… as I got older, I couldn’t make it line up.  I wanted to go to college, have a career, maybe or maybe not get married, maybe (but probably not) have kids.  I didn’t want any of the things that the Bible said women were put here to do.

Some churches skirt past this topic, but it is all over the Bible, and it is very clear.  If one believes the Bible is perfect, and God’s actual words, then this same person, whether they like it or not, believes what I stated in the first paragraph.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is appropriate for those who belong to the Lord.” – Colossians 3:18

“Encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” – Titus 2:4-5

“get married, bear children, keep house.”- 1 Timothy 5:14