Aug 11 2009
I Liked The Night Life…
Okay, wait a minute. You must be kidding right… there is church… at night!? What kind of amazing utopia is this? I get to come in on Sunday morning, sing, worship, study the Bible, hang with friends… then I get to have lunch with my friends… then I get to hang out with my friends some more… then I get to go to choir practice… then I get to go to night church…. and then, after all of that… I get to go hang out with my friends after church by going to worship with them some more!? I can stay out until 10PM (11PM or midnight in the summer!) on Sunday night… all in the name of worshiping Jesus. Yes… SIGN. ME. UP!
This group, as it is clear to see, became my core group of friends. We all went to different schools… which was perfect for this girl who was not popular at school in the slightest… but we hung out at church, all. the. time. Because as part of the leadership group, in addition to the AWESOME schedule posted above, we got to meet up early on Wednesdays, BEFORE Youth Group, we also had another meeting at some point during the week for Bible Study/Small Groups, and then there was always a Friday or Saturday (or both) event. If there wasn’t, we just made one happen anyway.
As soon as I could drive, I was out EVERY NIGHT with at least some subset of this group. Oh, and, anyone who tells you that there are not ‘clicks’ at church and that everyone is accepted is deluded. I think my group (youth group leaders) was more of a ‘click’ than ANY group in my high school. Only a select few got into this tight knit bunch. As new freshman joined, we roasted them and made sure they were worthy (just as had been done to us). We would not let just anybody join. In addition to loving Jesus, you better want to participate in all events, be dedicated and loyal and for god sakes, you better want to hang out with us ALL. THE. TIME.
In some ways I have fond memories of that time… I really had a posse, and something to do all the time, which I was craving. I wanted to be out of the house as much as possible… youth group gave me this, while providing a social group as well.
The not so fond memories are when I look back at how closed minded I was about other religions/beliefs/non-beliefs. How ridiculous I was in some of my thinking. How much I clung to these people for acceptance, to be told I was a great person. How hard it was to actually ask questions I was having because I thought I may lose my group of friends.
How. Fake. I. Was.
8 responses so far
I did all that … in my early thirties. Yes, I was clicky, judgmental, and rude. I still miss some aspects of that craziness. So much I miss it that I’m considering a Unitarian church.
I completely understand seeking it out. Even though it has been years since that time, I still have moments of craving the social side of it. It’s something that only a person who has been there, in that tight knit community, can understand (In my opinion).
As a kid, up until even a little college, this was basically me. It’s painfully obvious WHY they would foster an environment where you’re only around people who believe their brand of Christianity. Upon leaving, I found that I had almost no friends outside of my church. That really bothered me, on a personal level, of course, but also because I knew that this was probably the case for most of the people there.
If you raise kids in a microcosm, you can make them believe most anything. I knew parents in that church who would keep their kids away from TV and other media for the sake of keeping them shielded from the bad stuff. That’s just the problem, though, isn’t it? When is it too early to realize that the world has good and bad? It just feels like the longer you keep a kid in your idealized world, the harder the drop is going to be when they see what the world is actually like. And then those cases are used to demonstrate why its necessary to keep kids in the bubble longer and longer.
Of course, all of this really just seems to shield people from something much uglier: the fact that there are people out there who think differently than you. What’s worse, they actually have reasons that are just as valid as yours, sometimes more so.
For me, as a teenager, the Church, youth group, etc was my lifeline. We did a lot of fun things. I suspect I was at the Church or with people from the Church 3 to 5 times a week. Since I came from a divorced family the Church, particularly the youth group, became my family.
I wonder if can we have the social aspects of the Church and just leave God out of it
Bruce
I wonder if can we have the social aspects of the Church and just leave God out of it
Yes. But it requires some work and some structure. It is possible to form a society to discuss morals and ethics, to help each other through crises, to help people in the larger community, and to do all the other things that churches do, including the social connections with others of similar views; all without reference to god.
I will mention an example, not necessarily as a group anyone here might want to join (I didn’t after attending a few months worth of meetings at one member society), but to give an idea of the possibilities for humanist (i.e., no god in sight anywhere, ever) “religion”: The American Ethical Union. “We recognize the unique worth of each individual, we act to elicit the best in others and in ourselves; our faith is in the human capacity to create a better world.”
I think, as more and more people live without belief in god, a variety of humanist groups will be formed which provide the social connections of “church” that many people find helpful, satisfying, and pleasant without the mythology of invisible magic overlords. I imagine that there will be several such organizations which emphasize different aspects of how people relate to and act on social values.
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