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Aug
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03
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2009
Get Married Young – So you can have sex!
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Found this funny… especially after I read the article about promoting marriages at a young age. The fact is, most don’t wait, and those that do can have just as many issues as those that don’t. It’s hard to believe that this is considered an answer to the failing abstinence message. How about you tell kids to treat sex with respect, and to marry someone they love, can talk to, respect, etc. How about the church stops making marriage about sex… that would be a step in the right direction.
6 responses so far
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August 4, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Seeing as how their source material advocates wedding a rape victim to their assailant, I’m not surprised that they would be in favor of sex-fueled marriage train wrecks.
It’s crazy what people will support when the answer should be obvious. Once you start setting up laws on how you can love someone in your own mind, things get really messed up.
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August 12, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Wow. So instead of admitting that people have desires and having sex within a mature, loving relationship is ok, they take this new approach–get married as young as you can, so you don’t have to feel guilty about those urges!
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August 19, 2009 at 1:41 am
“Pragmatically, however, the institution of marriage remains a foundational good for individuals and communities. It is by far the optimal context for child-rearing. Married people accumulate more wealth than people who are single or cohabiting. Marriage consolidates expenses—like food, child care, electricity, and gas—and over the life course drastically reduces the odds of becoming indigent or dependent on the state.”
There are no solid, respected, published studies anywhere that suggest any of this. In fact there are plenty such studies showing that marriage has almost no effect on any of these things.
The writer also insinuates constantly that marriage and child-bearing are the duty and responsibility of all moral and decent people. I see no mention in here of the fact that the in that same sermon taught by Paul in 1st Corinthians, he advocated strongly AGAINST marriage and child bearing, or that the old testament not only allows but encourages the taking of multiple wives, concubines and using maid servants as breeders. Or that marriage was routinely arranged as a political, social and economical maneuvering tool and that love rarely had anything to do with getting married. That was a practice that continued long after Jesus died.
Then there is the final complete non-realism that isn’t addressed at all in the church, the fact that sex and nudity are demonized and shamed to such an extent that even on their wedding nights, many christians can’t simply turn off those views and feelings of guilt and often go on to lead sexless, passionless and extremely repressed lives. I experienced this with my ex-wife who was never able to enjoy sex or shake immense feelings of guilt every time we so much as discussed sex.
I could go on and on about this subject but since I’ve already posted an absurdly long comment, I’ll stop now.
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September 1, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Allen,
As a professing Christian, I am so struggling with these very issues. I am 54 and divorced. Your post was addressing some of the very same issues I am dealing with. Is it really going to be sinning if I want to make sure I am sexually compatible with a prospective marriage partner?
After living with a man for 20 years, where there was no compatibility…I just don’t see I could take that chance.
It’s not like I am in my 20’s and a virgin and have saved myself for one man. Those days are long over. This reality has created an extreme amount of ambivalence. And, I am tired of feeling guilty because I have sexual desires.
I don’t understand. God made us sexual beings yet the list of everything we can’t do is vast. So difficult.
Deb
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September 1, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Deb,
Unfortunately, I have no words of encouragement to help you reconcile your your most basic of human desires with your religious beliefs. I am no longer a christian. I believe that while it’s certainly possible that jesus was a real and probably extremely intelligent person, his life and teachings are very poorly documented and greatly exaggerated. Whatever his teachings originally might have been, what there is to refer to now has been perverted, mutated and otherwise transformed into something entirely different and in this ex-christian’s opinion, nothing more than a tool to keep the masses under control and in fear of the church. Mostly the catholic church.
I was raised in a fanatically, christian fundamentalist home. I got married at the age of 24, to a good christian girl, because I thought it’s what good christian men did. I’m only thankful that I saw the reality of our marriage for what it was while I was still young and before we had an children. I’m 33 now and after a long battle with the values and morals that were drilled into my head through-out my childhood, I consider myself now 100% christ free. I view it much like alcoholics look at their addiction and I often wish there was some kind of recovering christian support group in my area.
I won’t council you to go either way, my only suggestion is to proceed based on what your own life experiences have taught you. I think if you break right and wrong down to their most basic fundamentals, they are this simple:
There is no right and wrong and there is no such thing as sin. There are simply things that have positive and negative effects on yourself and those around you i.e. what is harmful and what is not. Take an honest look at which of your actions have truly caused harm in your life and the lives of those around you. It can be a real eye opener, it’s difficult and painful to swallow. It was for me.
-Allen
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June 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm
TY for posting, it had been quite helpful and helped a great deal…