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Jul

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06

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2009

The church has said, “Go to hell”

Published by leavingreligion at
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9:29 pm under Christianity, Leaving Religion, Politics and Religion


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ted_haggardThe quote above is what Ted Haggard said in a wonderful documentary by Alexandra Pelosi, “The Trials of Ted Haggard”.  This documentary really touched me at my core, because it shows exactly why I have so much anger with the church.  I thought I’d walk away from the documentary knowing a little more and not really feeling sorry for Ted Haggard.  Instead, I see a man who in his deepest hour of sorrow and despair, was completely failed by the church.  The one time he actually needed them and his friends, they all left him.  Not only left him, but exiled him.  Told that he and his family had to leave Colorado (not just Colorado Springs), was not allowed to preach anywhere (he was able to get his severance by agreeing to this), had to attend spiritual classes to get him ’straight’ again, and since returning to his home town 18 months later, is still not allowed (the term they use is forbidden) to step foot inside that church… even as an attendee.

THIS IS SO MESSED UP… on so many levels.  The amazing thing, is that through all of this, he has kept on believing.  I actually think that he must, psychologically, need to.  With everything that he went through… I can see why he would actually cling to what is a ‘known’ in his life.  There are statements he makes in the film that lead me to believe he sees the broken parts of the religion and the failure of it, but is just not willing to let go of it.  He makes a statement about getting more help from his recent psychologist visits than anything else he had tried.  That they were able to help him work through issues he’d been dealing with since he was a kid.

What this documentary did, is give me compassion for this man.  I still don’t agree with him and his current beliefs, but I really do feel for him and his family.  He’s someone who is struggling, and has actually stayed with the religion… and the one group of people who should be helping him and opening their arms to him are leaving him by the curb.  He’s not good enough for them.

He’s now, at least as of the making of the documentary, a traveling sales man.  He admits he has only a high school education as far as the ’secular world’ is concerned.  His theology classes mean nothing to an employer.  At one point, he states that it’s like he is 19 again going on his first job interview… because he never had to interview for a job in the church.  This just confirms what I always have thought about those who work in the church their entire lives…they never really grow up.  They are in this cocoon, and when faced with the real world… as one can see in the case of Ted Haggard… they get a real wake-up call, and it isn’t pretty.  It is especially not pretty when the one group you had on your side, has also left you high and dry.

What a bunch of bullshit.  Reminds me why I’m so glad I left it all behind.

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10 responses so far

10 Responses to “The church has said, “Go to hell””

  1. Paul S says:

    Love the sinner, hate the sin, er, never mind… Great post.

  2. I feel this way every time I talk to my friends who are still dedicated believers in Jesus. I was just like them no more than a year ago. But now I feel sorry for them when they speak about how God is working in their lives, or how they are praying for me.

    Religion is extremely and undeniably flawed. Prayers are not answered. Bad things happen to good people. Why must we continue to be too afraid to admit the idiocy in worshiping a god that is so obviously man-made? Live your life and save your stress and worry for things that aren’t imaginary.

    After fully ridding myself of this physiological need for a god, I can’t understand how I could ever have believed it or thought it was necessary. Take it from me, throw away the pacifier of religion and actually live free rather than living an illusion of freedom.

    • leavingreligion says:

      Fantastic comment! I, like you, look back and wonder how I could have ever believed. How I could have held onto something that is so clearly unbelievable to me now. Watching Ted Haggard in the documentary, I could see my past self. The self who was questioning and walking away, but was still holding onto pieces of it because of the familiarity that provided comfort.

      The funny thing is… it seemed like it was providing comfort to me… but, it wasn’t until I fully let go, that I actually felt freedom and comfort and peacefulness.

    • Rich says:

      The Bible says why prayers aren’t answered. The Bible also says that bad things *will* happen to good people.

      • leavingreligion says:

        I don’t think I ever said that bad things *wouldn’t* happen to good people. I believe bad things happen randomly, whether it be to good or bad people.

  3. Rich says:

    It’s too bad when good people are hurt by “bad” churches. It’s also sad when Christians/non-Christians judge God based on what *people* do — people aren’t perfect, but, hopefully, they are doing the best they can.

    And whoever said life was easy or going to be problem free *with* God? I think Jesus had said just the opposite. It’s interesting when things hit the fan, how quickly the blame shifts.

  4. Stories like this are the reason why I won’t write someone off simply because they believe in God.

    Just like you mentioned, this man’s belief in God is pretty much the one constant in his life right now. I may have had people patronizing me, but outright revilement during that time in my life would have been soul-crushing.

    This also just goes to show that believing in God doesn’t make you a good person in the slightest. There isn’t anything special about being a Christian that makes you any better than anyone else. Even the moral principles it lays out still allow this sort of disgusting, revolting behavior from its followers.

  5. Lorena says:

    If you ask me, if God existed, he would be pro gay marriage. In which case, Haggard would be happily married to a man, would be a preacher for a God of love and acceptance, and the whole scandal would’ve never happened.

    If people are going to invent a God, they should imagine a tolerant, loving God. But, why do they have to create some hateful monster that requires worship and sends people to hell for being who they are?

    • Keyla says:

      Well put, sir, well put. I’ll craetilny make note of that.

  6. Temaskian says:

    A pastor is not really loved for who is, but for his position. Everyone would tolerate a pastor no matter who he really is, because they believe that he is ‘called by God’, and that he is the ‘Lord’s anointed’.

    The minute he has fallen out of favour, he is dumped. I’ve seen it happen right before my very eyes, and it is scary. Afterwards, the man is villified like never before. Before, they would say that “we love him”.

    That’s why a religious leader must, by all means, and at all costs, keep the congregation under his thumb at all times, or he will be trampled underfoot.

    I have met up with a pastor on a one-to-one basis, and believe me, he is a lonely animal, despite being surrounded by his loving sheep, who claim to love him, and clamour for his love. He has intimated to me that his only friend is also his colleague, a fellow pastor in his own church.

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