Jul 11 2009
Crucify
One of my favorite songs by Tori Amos. During the beginning (and throughout) stages of my deconversion, I listened to A LOT of Tori. Her lyrics described a lot of my thoughts, perfectly. Crucify is one of the songs I practically had on repeat for a year.
Lyrics:
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my somach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out nowIve been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Ive been raising up my hands- drive another nail in
Just what God needs, one more victimWhy do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chainsGot a kick for a dog, beggin for love
Gotta have my sufferingso that I can have my cross
I know a cat named easter, he says will you ever learn
Youre just an empty cage girl if you kill the birdIve been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Ive been raising up my hands- drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start my own religionWhy do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chainsPlease be
Save me
I cryLooking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Ive been raising up my hands- drive another nail in
Where are those angels when you need themWhy do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains
Thoughts?
3 responses so far
Lovely song, thanks for sharing. It might not be what she means, but to me the song reminds me of the times when I was a Christian, and I would try to “crucify myself daily”, as what the bible required. So it’s basically talking about the unnecessary self-condemnation which Christians put themselves through, resulting in a crippling self-inferiority complex.
Although it had a legitimate start, a quest for salvation, for meaning in life. Or at least, something better.
What you said above is how I interpret the song. Tori Amos was raised in a conservative christian house… her dad was a preacher. Most of her songs (especially from this album, “Little Earthquakes”) really resonate with me, and were actually comforting during my ‘de-conversion’ process. It was nice to know I was not alone.
I’m new to Tori Amos, so thanks for introducing her. Nowadays, I’m always on the lookout for secular artistes, since I no longer subscribe to Christian music.